A Day in the Life, of a Dear Friend

Written by August Janklow

Photography by Rosa May

Prologue - 07:00 Hours - MORNING 

Dear Friends, 

Good Morning. 

Can I fix you a cup of coffee? Can you fix me one? 

If you check the Brutalist Calendar on the wall of the big bedroom we all sleep in together you’ll see it’s December 14th. A very big day for us Friends. 

“Why isn’t that the date of our Christmas Spectacular at The George (Tavern)?” You ask, eyes big as dinner plates and almost as wet. 

Why yes it is. Now walk with me down the naturally lit hall of a house we all live in together and I’ll tell you for how we made it happen. 

“Our Dear Friends-” You sputter, porcelain skin lighting up the room. 

As you know, kid, Our Dear Friends is the promotion engine helmed by one Ruairi Jane-Collins; An implacably sweet incognito Irishman you’ve surely seen around. In the last year the event has quickly risen to a “consistently very good night” on personal lists London-over. Be there. 

The (Christmas) Spectacular was birthed from one, now historic lunch meeting between Ruairi Jane-Collins, his associate the enigmatic Alex D-T, and a third all-but-forgotten attendee only slightly noteworthy for being the author of this piece. They’d heard of this Christmas thing and wondered if there’d ever been any songs written about it. Turns out there had been. At least 12. 

Enough for a spectacular show. 

Then they quickly learned that Christmas is a time for giving, and so for charity it was decided to be. 

Anyway we’re gonna have to move this to the kitchen. I've got a lot to do today but first I need to catalogue the acts, have you heard of overnight oats? 

ACT 1- 08:00 Hours - THE SHOW 

Truly, the Young Stars of London were out that night. Insert picture here, and here, and here, of coolly affected joyful crowds. 

The room was buzzing as only a borderline-full George can. Cozy Christmas cheer seeping out like the beer keg gas leak that would cap off the evening. Santa had come early, to sit in the corner and lash his redhaired elf into taking polaroids of strangers straddling him. The charity raffle was selling remarkably well. And then it began. 

The Act kicked off with the Sorori Voice Collective (Carlina Cury, Yiolanda Loizou, ROSSANA, and our very own Millie Turner) an alternative choir delivering a beautifully intricate rendition of Silent Night. If you can imagine sun through a church window, it sounded like that, warm and enrapturing. And through the rapt audience came our first Emcee, (Our night had Three Mc’s [and No DJ])* The Playwright Alexander Gallimore. He welcomed us all in and as is the custom bestowed upon the crowd the title of Dear Friend. 

And what to my wondering eyes should appear? Why it’s Milo Massey of Wish fame, tackling the bull that is Merry Xmas Everybody with a matador’s flare. Pure showmanship swiftly followed on by Tallulah Argue’s Santa Baby, her hair topped with a red bow of Seussic proportions, the best outfit of the night? Let’s put a poll at the end of this article. It's far too concise. 

Joe Darley sang the “babooms” with a little help from Our Friends. 

Elvis is in the building, Patraic O’Donnell’s Elvis I should say. 

Hailed by one verified Presley obsessive as 

“The Best Elvis I’ve ever seen, please tell him that.” 

(apologies to Nunhead). 

He rattled us down the tracks of Blue Christmas. Getting the whole room tearing at their armaments and beating their breast like the funeral of Hektor. 

An utter highlight of the night made its way onto the stage at this point, Eleanna Amias and her recitation of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. This was just straight up funny and good, and then she outdid herself about 45 minutes later with a one woman version of The Lonely Jew on Christmas from the American television show South Park. Playing the roles of both Kyle and Jesus. 

Then August Janklow (Me) sang Silver Bells (Dean Martin). Me doesn’t know how to write this part so, the band did a killer job with the arrangement. I love Dean Martin. I asked for quotes on instagram from attendees and my mom was the only response, she said: 

“The guy with the bowtie seemed nice.” 

I’ll give you three guesses. 

Rounding off the first act were Poppy and Jasmine of Hotstamp with a rager of a Baby it’s Cold Outside. Say what’s in this drink? 

Act 1.5 - 08:54 Hours - INTERMISSION

People smoked and bought raffle tickets, it was intermission. Maybe someone got a pizza. So while they do that I’ll take this time to tell of the rock on which we built our show. 

Our Dear House Band, sprouted from the rhythms of the lethal Alex D-T on drums and the immovable Nate Seyers on bass guitar. Both impeccable session (and otherwise) players. The wonderful Patraic O’Donnell on rhythm guitar and the formidable Rory Wilson on keys filled out the rest of the important bits with elegance. Both members of my band (also called August) and their own projects; Patchwork for Patraic and Musical Directing at a Church for Rory. I of course stood to the side and did things like beat at a mandolin, blow into a plastic piano, and shake bells like some sort of imbecile. 

Act 2 - 09:10 Hours - THE REST OF THE SHOW 

The choir returns for a Vince Guaraldi Certified Charlie Brown Classic, Christmas Time is Here. That really centred all of our sacrums. Back in the room, back in the room. 

Then we have what in cowboy terms we’d call the “Real Sweet Mile.” 

Act 2.5 - 09:15 Hours - THE REAL SWEET MILE 

Oscar Lang, songwriter extraordinaire and lovely man that he is, creeped the boards over to the lead vocal mic and the sky did crack open. 

He just makes you smile. 

It’s a very special thing to be in a packed out room and howl along with 150 other people that 

“War is over 

If You want it 

War is over, now” 

Then came Eleanna in full Kyle Broflovski regalia for her aforementioned Lonely Jew, which counts as real sweet because it warmed our hearts with laughter. And I missed a note on the three note solo which warmed my face with shame. 

“I came down to hear The Lonely Jew on Christmas, and it did not disappoint. Perhaps singlehandedly altered the trajectory of my life.” - Rebecca Sonali, Photographer 

To end the RSM* and ferry us into the homestretch was none other than Molly Payton. Molly was the only one who went solo guitar/vocals and now feels an apt time to mention that Joni Mitchell is the hardest good cover in the world. And she skated through River with ease, just a downtuned (I think) cherry red hollow-body and its master.

Act 3 - 09:45 Hours - THE END OF ACT 2 AND THE SHOW 

You can’t have a covers night without Ash Kenazi. One of the brains behind (David) Byrne’s Night (a massive Talking Heads and Co. tribute act that floats around to venues and festivals near you, for those who don’t know) and the progenitor of the London tribute night as we know it. Wham! Last Christmas had something like nine choruses all done with express audience permission of course. 

And for our nightcap came Joseph “Joe” Darley of The Slow Country fame and Abigail Morris from the O2 Academy Brixton with a lovingly baked Fairytale of New York. Gender swapped and adequately censored for your listening pleasure, they heard it all the way to Canterbury. 

Impromptu Jingle Bells encore not withstanding that was it! We called the raffle, someone took home a bottle of champagne, and it turned out the event had raised £500 for Shelter From the Storm. 

When asked why Santa Claus considered him a dear enough friend to attend Ruairi Jane-Collins replied: 

“I don’t know the man personally - but we used to share a written correspondence. I think he would appreciate that there is no one in the music scene who celebrates friendship in the way we do.” 

To all those who came, thank you sincerely, and to all those who didn't, we'll see you next year. Hail Santa and a Happy New Year. 

*Beastie Boys song 

*Context clues, man

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Our Dear Friends